Healing From Grief With Hope

Healing From Grief With Hope

Guest Blog by Cyndi Barber

We are blessed to have Cyndi share on the topic of grief. She has been a good friend of the Backlunds; they have ministered much together through the years. They highly recommend her ministry. 

Grief doesn’t always look like we expect it to. Sometimes it comes in loud, messy waves. Other times, it hides quietly beneath the surface, disguised as strength, numbness, or survival. When I was nine years old and my dad died by suicide, I didn’t cry. I didn’t even know how.. My family didn’t talk about grief. We didn’t know how. We just kept going—doing what needed to be done, holding onto our faith, and pushing forward. While our faith was deeply anchored in the Lord, emotional pain went unspoken.

Decades later, something triggered me unexpectedly, and I found myself overwhelmed by a surge of anger I couldn’t explain. That moment cracked open a deep well of unprocessed pain. I finally realized I had been carrying grief I never faced. In that space, God didn’t condemn me—He met me. He led me in healing for what I had shut down for years. When tragedy struck again and my daughter died in a car accident, I knew I couldn’t deny the pain the way I had before. Instead, I followed the Lord as He led me through the grief, riding the pain with me, showing me truth, and comforting me with His presence. He gave me tools. He provided His grace. And because of that, even in heartbreak, I had hope.

You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck in Grief

If you're carrying pain from loss—whether recent or decades old—you’re not alone. And you don’t have to pretend you’re okay. You may have been told to stay strong, keep moving, or “let it go,” but real healing begins when we’re honest.

Here’s what I’ve learned about grief, God, and healing:

1. You don’t have to hide your pain.God is not resistant to your emotions—He welcomes them. Talk to Him honestly, even if your prayers feel messy.

2. Grief doesn’t have a timeline.Whether your loss happened last week or thirty years ago, it’s okay to just begin now. Healing starts when you face what’s inside and are ready to move through it.

3. Faith doesn’t mean pretending.Real faith makes room for tears, questions, and emotions. You can trust God and still be confused, disillusioned, and grieving.

4. Numbness isn’t healing.If you’ve been pushing everything down, that’s not failure—it’s survival. But now, it’s safe to feel. God wants to meet you there.

5. You’re not doing it wrong.There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Your journey will not look like someone else’s. Forward motion is more important than method. It’s more important to ask yourself, “Am I moving forward or am I stuck?” If you’re stuck, you may need to seek help from a trusted counselor. 

6. You are not alone.God is standing at the door of your heart. Follow the Lord as He guides you through healing. He knows you intimately. He knows what you need. 

7. Your story isn’t over.You aren’t defined by loss. It’s a chapter in a much larger story God is writing about you. There’s life, joy, and beauty still ahead—even if you can’t see it yet.

What You Can Do Today

• Pause. Invite the Lord into your messy emotions. Give yourself the freedom to feel without judgment.

• Pray honestly. Tell God how it really feels. Remember that He is acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3).

• Write it out. Journal what you’ve been carrying. Sometimes writing opens the door to healing.

• Reach out. Let one hope-filled and compassionate person into your grief. You don’t have to share everything—just start.

• Breathe. Sit quietly in God’s presence and breathe. Read Psalm 34:18. Let it speak to your heart:“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Grief isn’t a problem to solve. It’s a journey to walk—and God walks it with you.

There is no shame in your sorrow. You’re not too late, too broken, or too far gone.Healing from grief with hope is not only possible—it’s a part of Jesus’s redemption. 

Ready for More Healing?

For a deeper, step-by-step guide through grief, my workbook Rising Up: Healing From Loss is available to you. It’s a gentle, practical guide to help you process pain, connect with God, and move forward with hope. Get the workbook here.

Bio

Cyndi Barber is an author and inner healing/pastoral counselor at Bethel Church’s Transformation Center in Redding, CA. Following loss and trauma, she has dedicated her life to helping people find restoration and wholeness. Her website https://breakthrough4you.com provides tools for healthy relationships, overcoming loss and trauma, and personal growth.