Who Are You Talking To?
- Steve Backlund
- 2 hours ago
- 4 min read
Who Are You Talking To?
By Steve Backlund
Jesus said, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). Our words reveal what is happening inside us. They don't just reveal what we believe about God or ourselves; they also reveal what we believe about the people we are talking to.
I recently taught a message called Who Do You Say They Are? In it, I proposed three incredibly important questions: 1) Who do we say Jesus is? 2) Who do we say we are? 3) Who do we say the people around us are? That third question has continued working in me and has led to another: Who do I believe I am talking to? Whether I am talking to myself, my wife, my family, someone I am mentoring, a leadership team, a congregation, or people on social media, what I believe about them will influence what comes out of my mouth.
Our Beliefs About People Come Out
Matthew 12:34 tells us that our mouths speak from the abundance of our hearts. We can learn communication techniques and become skilled at saying the right things, yet eventually what we truly believe about people finds its way into our communication. If I believe I am talking to irresponsible people, my words will tend to become controlling. If I believe people are incapable of making good decisions, I will probably over-explain and over-manage. If I believe they don't care, frustration will eventually find its way into my words.
Disempowering communication begins with disempowering beliefs: “They will never change.” “They aren't smart enough to make good decisions.” “They're too immature to walk in wisdom.” “They are not hungry.” “They can't be trusted with responsibility.” “They will probably fail if I don't manage them closely.” What we repeatedly believe about people eventually influences how we speak to them.
I am not saying we ignore irresponsibility, overlook immaturity, or trust people beyond their demonstrated character. Empowerment is not denial. We can accurately recognize where someone is while refusing to make their present condition the highest truth about who they really are.
Something changes when we see people as growing, capable of hearing God, able to make good decisions, and becoming mature. Empowering words flow much more naturally from empowering beliefs.
Jesus Saw More
Jesus gives us a powerful picture of this with His disciples. They misunderstood Him, competed for position, fell asleep when He asked them to pray, and eventually abandoned Him during His greatest hour of need. Jesus knew their weaknesses, yet those weaknesses did not become His primary definition of them. He said, “I have called you friends” (John 15:15). He entrusted them with His mission and spoke to them according to something greater than their present level of maturity. Jesus didn't communicate with His disciples merely according to who they had been. He spoke to them in light of who they were becoming and what He was entrusting them to carry.
This is “prophetic seeing.” It doesn't require us to ignore what is wrong. Prophetic seeing keeps what is wrong from becoming the primary lens through which we see a person.
Prophetic Seeing Becomes Prophetic Speaking
Prophetic ministry is bigger than occasionally giving someone a prophetic word. I believe God is developing such a prophetic way of seeing people in us that speaking life becomes natural. This doesn't mean we overlook problems or avoid difficult conversations. Prophetic seeing enables us to address what needs to change without allowing the problem to define the person.
The goal isn't to occasionally adjust our thinking so we can speak prophetically. The goal is to think prophetically so we naturally speak life.
Hebrews 10:24 says, “Let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works.” I love the word consider. God is helping us look beyond surface issues and recognize what He has placed in people, where growth is already happening, and who they are becoming.
Before we speak to a person or group, we don't only plan our words, but we also strengthen our beliefs about the people who will hear them. As those beliefs become stronger in us, empowering words flow naturally.
The more we consider people this way, the more it changes how we speak to them. We are no longer simply choosing the right words; we are speaking from a more empowering belief about who they are. Empowering communication begins with empowering beliefs about people.
Who Am I Talking To When I Talk to Myself?
This revelation also changes our self-talk. Who do I believe I am talking to when I talk to Steve? If I believe I am talking to someone who is behind, who never quite gets it right, or who needs to try harder, those beliefs will influence my inner dialogue.
God is strengthening a different perspective in us. We are learning to see ourselves as sons and daughters of God who are growing, learning, empowered by grace, and being transformed through renewed minds.
God is transforming how we see ourselves and the people around us. As we see more of what He sees, our words will reflect His heart and call out the gold He has placed in people.
The more we see prophetically, the more naturally we will speak prophetically.
Who are you talking to?
Declarations
I see myself and others through the lens of God’s truth, hope, and potential.
My words empower people because my beliefs about people are empowering.
I am becoming a powerful prophetic seer who calls out the gold God has placed in others.
My words are filled with life, hope, courage, and faith wherever I go.
I speak to myself and others according to who God says we are and who we are becoming.
