Our hope level determines our influence level. The person with the most hope has the most influence.

I wrote a book with my brother Phil Backlund and Melissa Daumont called The Culture of Empowerment (click here for this book). Phil and I created a Business and Organizational version of the book as well (find it here).  Both of these books are focused around this Bill Johnson quote: “My goal is not to build a big church but to build big people.” Something powerful happens when we come into agreement with God’s purposes for people’s lives, and these books share how we can do this.

Jesus said the greatest will be those who are the servant of all (Matthew 23:11).  This servanthood goes far beyond willingness to joyously do things like taking out the trash, but it, more importantly, serves the dreams of people and helps them live their life purpose. 

I didn’t grow up with a lot of encouragement. I had good parents, but they were not very verbal in affirming my identity. I battled insecurity as a high school student. Because of this, I was greatly impacted at eighteen years of age when my government teacher came up to me and said, “Steve, I see you would be good in government and politics.” I thought, “Wow! Someone really sees me! Someone spoke over me the potential they could see in me.” My teacher was “championing” me. Because of that, I majored in political science when I went to college the next year.

As we seek to champion people and serve their dreams, it begins by being a student of people. Hebrews 10:24 says, “Let us consider one another to stir up love and good works.” The key question to ask when we’re considering someone is “What do I like about them?” I used to only like people who saw the world the same way I did. But that mindset limited my leadership capacity. If I can only influence people similar to me, I can only impact a very small group of people. 

If you want to become an empowering person and leader, the place to start is through encouragement. Identify what people are doing right, and what positive qualities they possess. Then tell them what you see in them. Help them believe they are significant. Because once they believe they are significant, they will increasingly live an impactful life.

This perspective does not mean we don’t deal with deficits in people’s character, but we know that our belief in people will tend to inspire them to do what they never thought they could do. 

As we discuss this, it is important to understand the nature of most relationships. 1) We first get excited, 2) then we get disappointed, and 3) then we can choose either reconnection or disconnection. Great influencers overcome the tendency to withdraw their heart from people who disappoint them. It doesn’t mean we won’t have boundaries, but these boundaries will come from a goal of connection and hope. 

In the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15, there are three characters: the elder brother, the younger brother, and the father. The father and elder-brother represent two different ways we can do relationships, leadership, and how we see people. The elder brother mindset first sees what’s wrong with a person or place. The father mindset first sees what’s right with a person or place. I used to think I was incredibly discerning because I could see what was wrong with people, but the Lord said, “You just have a critical spirit, Steve.” Whoops! 

As spiritual fathers or mothers, we are to partner with what God is doing in lives around us. We pastored in Nevada for years near a gold mine. They moved hundreds of tons of dirt a day but no one ever talked about the dirt. People don’t mind you moving their “dirt” as long as they know you’re looking for “gold” in them!

As we move into greater levels of influence, we will focus on helping people understand their true identity. Identity beliefs are crucial because we cannot consistently do what we don’t believe we are. For instance, if the people we want to influence believe they are sinners they will not be able to consistently behave righteously. One of the main roles of fathers and mothers is to establish healthy identity in children (both physical and spiritual). 

It is an act of love to find ways to increase our positive influence on others. We all have people in our lives who will thank us greatly as we become an empowering person, leader, spouse, boss, and friend.